How do babies self-soothe? Essential techniques for caregivers

When your baby wakes crying in the night (again), it’s natural to wonder how to help them calm down on their own. Learning to self-soothe is a gradual process that helps babies regulate their emotions, settle between sleep cycles, and build early sleep independence. With time — and your support — your little one can develop self-soothing techniques to help everyone get the rest they need.

What is self-soothing in babies?

Self-soothing is your baby’s ability to begin calming down and finding comfort without immediate help from you []. This skill develops after babies first experience being soothed through your consistent care, feeding, and comforting responses. Feeling safe and cared for gives your baby the confidence to eventually settle on their own when their needs have been met (e.g. they’re not hungry or in pain) and they’re developmentally ready.

In infancy, self-soothing often pertains to sleep, meaning a baby can fall asleep independently or drift back to sleep after briefly waking overnight. Keep in mind it’s not a single milestone but a gradual process, and it looks different for every child. 

It’s also important to keep expectations age-appropriate. Some babies begin to show early signs of self-soothing in the first few months, but it’s often inconsistent. By around 6 months, most babies are developmentally capable of using independent sleep skills more reliably to fall asleep and return to sleep on their own — as long as their basic needs, like hunger, are met. Readiness also depends on each baby’s temperament, environment, and the routines and habits parents have established through consistent, responsive care.

Why is self-soothing important?

Self-soothing is an essential life skill that stays with us from early childhood and on into adulthood. Learning how to self-soothe helps your baby do much more than just fall asleep. As your little one practices calming themselves, they’re also developing emotional regulation, or the ability to handle frustrations and transitions with more ease and independence []. 

Here are a few key benefits of self-soothing in babies:

• More consistent sleep: Babies who can settle on their own often sleep for longer stretches and return to sleep more easily [] after brief .

• Reduced fussiness: With self-soothing techniques, babies may cry less between sleep cycles or during overstimulation.

• Early independence: These small moments of settling themselves — like sucking on their fingers or clutching a — help babies gain confidence in their ability to find comfort. (Just keep in mind that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends keeping soft toys and loose objects out of the crib until your baby is at least 12 months old for safe sleep.)

• More sleep for the whole family: Self-soothing skills often translate to smoother, more restful sleep for everyone. 

Common self-soothing techniques for babies

Babies depend on caregivers for comfort and regulation, but very young babies may begin experimenting with ways to calm themselves, like sucking on their hands or a pacifier. Learning how to self-soothe is a gradual process shaped by consistent care, a soothing environment, and routines that help babies feel safe and secure [].

When caregivers respond calmly and keep routines consistent, babies learn that their world is safe and predictable. That sense of security helps them manage stress, fall asleep more easily, and gradually build the ability to soothe themselves.

These early self-soothing techniques help infants feel secure and begin building emotional regulation — even when you’re just a few feet away. Remember: these habits don’t appear all at once! Self-soothing develops gradually as babies gain control over their bodies, emotions, and environment, with your calm support guiding the way.

Here are some of the most common ways babies self-soothe:

• Hand-to-mouth movements: Sucking on their hands, fingers, or thumb (or bringing tiny fists to their mouth) is one of the earliest and most effective ways babies comfort themselves.

• Pacifier use: Many infants find soothing. The rhythmic sucking helps regulate their breathing and heart rate, promoting relaxation.

• Repetitive movements: You might notice your baby rubbing their face into your shoulder, rocking side to side, or rhythmically kicking their legs — these small motions help release energy and bring calm.

• Touch-based soothing: Babies often stroke their own hair or ears or hold onto a soft, familiar object like a lovey or small blanket (when age-appropriate). These tactile sensations provide reassurance and security.

• Vocal soothing: Some babies coo, hum, or make gentle babbling sounds as a way to comfort themselves and practice early self-expression.

• Focusing on sensory input: Staring at a caregiver’s face, a mobile, or a gentle light source helps babies center themselves through visual comfort.

• Settling in a preferred position: Curling into a fetal-like pose or finding a comfortable sleeping posture (that’s developmentally safe) can also signal a baby’s growing ability to self-regulate.

How to teach your infant to self-soothe

Self-soothing is something babies can practice gradually as their nervous system and sleep cycles mature. While babies may be able to consistently  settle themselves by 6 months, you can start building the foundation earlier. Providing practice opportunities early with gentle, intentional exposure helps your baby build the skills and confidence to calm themselves when they’re old enough. 

To gently support your baby’s growing ability to self-soothe and learn independent sleeping skills, you can:

• Start during calm moments: Practice doesn’t only have to happen when your baby is upset. Try setting them down when they’re calm and content so they can explore self-settling skills in a positive, relaxed way. Helping your baby associate independent time with safety and comfort during awake times can help lay the groundwork for self-soothing at sleep times. 

• Gradually reduce external soothing: Over time, try easing up on rocking, feeding, or patting to sleep, giving your baby opportunities to settle on their own.

• Encourage natural comfort methods: Finger-sucking, hand-sucking, or using a pacifier are all common ways for babies to self-regulate.

• Create a consistent bedtime routine: Familiar patterns — like bath, book, and lullaby — signal that it’s time to rest, helping your baby feel secure and ready to drift off.

• Respond calmly, but allow short pauses: If your baby stirs or fusses briefly during the night (or after a short nap), wait a few moments before intervening. Sometimes, they’ll resettle all on their own.

Note that it’s common for babies to need a nudge towards self-soothing and learning independent sleep skills as they grow, even if you practice the above. One way to support this process is — which doesn’t just mean “cry it out.” Gentle, gradual methods count too. If you’re looking for more personalized support, Huckleberry’s sleep consultants create Premium Sleep Plans with step-by-step guidance to help your family find an approach that works for you.

Tips for helping your baby develop self-soothing skills

Independence doesn’t mean doing it all alone. Your calm presence, responsiveness, and reassurance make it possible for your baby to begin exploring self-soothing behaviors. These early months are about gentle exposure and building trust.

As your baby grows, small moments of practice can build. Over time, your baby will learn how to regulate their emotions, recognize comfort cues, and find their way back to rest — with you cheering them on every step of the way.

Here are some ways to help your baby practice early self-soothing techniques:

• Meet their needs first: Make sure your baby’s basic needs — like a full tummy, a clean diaper, sufficient sleep pressure, and a comfortable sleep environment — are met before encouraging them to settle on their own. Babies can practice self-soothing once they feel safe and content.

• Be patient: Every baby develops at their own pace, and most newborns need help falling asleep and getting back to sleep. Self-soothing is a process, not a milestone. Many babies aren’t developmentally able to regularly fall asleep on their own until closer to six months. 

• Offer regular, low-pressure practice: Give your baby opportunities to use their self-soothing skills (like waiting a minute or two before stepping in when they start to fuss) so they can practice settling with your gentle support nearby.

• Follow wake windows and sleepy cues: Watching for signs like yawning, zoning out, or rubbing eyes helps you put your young baby down before they’re , making it easier for them to settle.

• Keep a consistent pre-sleep routine: Predictable patterns help your baby’s body and brain learn what comes next, reducing overstimulation and promoting calm.

• Pause before intervening: If your baby stirs or in their sleep, wait and observe. Many babies make noise while transitioning between sleep cycles, but aren’t actually awake or in need of assistance.

When to seek help: Signs your baby may need extra support

​​Even with practice, time, and patience, some babies need a little extra help learning to self-soothe and that’s completely normal.

When to seek sleep support

Every child’s sleep journey is unique, and sometimes personalized guidance can make all the difference. You might consider using Huckleberry Premium if:

• Sleep feels unpredictable: Bedtime and naps vary widely day to day, and you’re unsure how to create consistency.

• Frequent night wakings continue: Your baby is waking several times a night and struggling to fall back asleep without your help.

• Naps are short or skipped: Despite age-appropriate routines, naps rarely last long enough for restorative rest.

• You’re unsure about timing: Wake windows and schedules feel confusing, and you’re not sure when to adjust.

• You’ve tried multiple approaches: You’ve experimented with tips, but nothing seems to stick.

• You’re running on empty: Lack of sleep is affecting your wellbeing or your baby’s mood and development.

If any of these sound familiar, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Huckleberry’s sleep consultants create Premium Sleep Plans tailored to your baby’s age, temperament, and your family’s comfort level — helping you get rest, reassurance, and a plan that actually works.

When to seek medical help 

Some sleep struggles have underlying causes that self-soothing skills alone can’t fix. Check in with your pediatrician if you notice:

• Concerns about feeding or growth: If your baby isn’t feeding normally or isn’t gaining weight as expected, it’s a good idea to check in with your pediatrician []. 

• Signs of discomfort or health issues: Persistent fussiness, arching, or feeding difficulties could point to reflux or other underlying concerns [].

Takeaway

• Self-soothing is a gradual process: Babies are typically capable of  self-soothing consistently by 6 months, but every child develops at their own pace. Some babies require extra support (like sleep training) to help them get there.

• Your presence matters: Comfort, responsiveness, and consistency help your baby feel secure enough to practice self-soothing techniques on their own.

• Small habits build big skills: Consistent routines, calm environments, and short pauses before intervening can help your baby learn how to regulate and settle independently.

• You’re not alone: If your baby’s sleep challenges persist, with Huckleberry Premium, our sleep experts can create a personalized plan that fits your family.