How can I get my preschooler to stay in their bed at night?

When your child was tiny, you probably dreamed of the preschool years, when everyone would finally sleep through the night. But now, bedtime battles might be back! Toddlers and preschoolers often hit sleep snags too. Sure, you're not up feeding them every two hours anymore (thank goodness!) but convincing them to stay in bed all night can feel like its own marathon.

In this article, we’ll help you understand why preschoolers sometimes have trouble staying in bed, provide tips for getting kids to sleep in their own bed, and troubleshoot ways to handle night wakings and setbacks. 

IN THIS ARTICLE: 

Understanding why preschoolers don’t want to stay in bed

Preschoolers might face two different struggles: staying in bed at bedtime before they fall asleep and staying in bed throughout the night. When you’re trying to figure out why your preschooler is getting out of bed and what you can do to help, it can be beneficial to think about whether they’re struggling at the beginning of the night or once they’ve already fallen asleep (or both). 

Schedule factors

It’s common for children to struggle with staying in bed at bedtime if they’re not tired enough or if their schedule doesn’t align with their natural circadian rhythm. Adjusting to an can help bedtime feel easier by ensuring their body is ready for sleep at the right time. Additionally, early waking can sometimes be caused by hunger, especially if dinner was too early or they didn’t eat enough during the day.

Developmental factors

Preschoolers tend to be curious and independent and these traits can serve them well during the day. They’re learning new things about the world and can do many things (even if they need a little help sometimes). While these traits are crucial for their development, they can impede their nighttime sleep. This is especially true if your child has recently and prefers to explore their newfound freedom instead of staying in bed.  

Another developmental factor that might cause your preschooler to get out of bed is . Some children may only be able to stay dry at night after the preschool years []. If this is the case, they might get out of bed while trying to fall asleep (or after) because they need to go to the bathroom. If you’re attempting to nighttime potty train and it’s a struggle, either because they’re wetting the bed or getting out of bed frequently to go to the bathroom, these may be signs their body is not developmentally ready just yet. 

Emotional factors

Some children may get out of bed due to or because they’re looking for comfort at night. For many preschoolers, going to school during the day is a new concept, and they might be looking for more of the one-on-one time they were used to before preschool started, so they seek that connection at night. Some kids also have , causing them to get out of bed. 

Kids might also have difficulty staying in bed if they’re experiencing a change or challenge. For example, they may get out of bed because they’re not feeling well or had a bad dream. 

Sleep environment factors

We’ve probably all been in our kids’ shoes. Just as it can be hard for us to turn off the TV and head to bed, children struggle to stop doing something they enjoy and go to sleep. So, they may get out of bed because they want to continue playing with their toys or looking at books. It’s common for kids to want to get out of bed at night because they know that adults or older children in the house are still awake and they don’t want to miss out on the fun. 

They might also want to get out of bed if their sleep environment is not conducive to sleep. For example, this could be due to bright lights shining in the windows or the room being too hot or cold.  

Safety concerns surrounding getting out of bed at night

Risk of injury

Getting out of bed at night can pose various safety concerns. This is especially the case if it’s dark and children are unattended. They might trip over toys, fall down stairs, or get into something they shouldn’t. It can also be a safety concern if kids encounter household pets at night while unsupervised. While this can feel scary, remedies, such as childproofing your home, can help ensure your child’s safety if they get out of bed at night. 

How to ensure a safe sleep space

There are many ways you can keep your child safe at night. Some parents like to use baby gates or child-proofing devices (like door monkeys and knob covers) to keep their preschoolers safely in their rooms at night. Make sure their room is a safe space for them by childproofing their room with furniture anchors, outlet covers, and window locks. 

If your child can get out of their room, it’s a good idea to think about safety throughout the entire house as well. Bells or door alarms can alert you if your child leaves their room. You can use locks or baby gates to block access to stairs, exterior doors, and other safety hazards in your home. Some other childproofing measures [] you can take include:

• Anchoring heavy furniture to the walls

• Crating pets

• Installing childproof latches on drawers and cabinets

• Covering outlets

• Locking windows

• Keeping cords out of reach 

In their room, consider whether a or a standard-sized bed is best. According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) [], toddler beds should only be used until your child reaches 50 pounds. Toddler beds are often made from lightweight materials (like particle board or plastic) to make them affordable and easy to move. However, these materials may not reliably support more than 50 pounds.

Tips for encouraging your child to stay in bed

Tip #1: Create a consistent bedtime routine

A consistent can help your preschooler stay in bed and get adequate sleep []. Maintaining this routine can also cue your child’s brain that it’s time to sleep []. 

Note that it’s common for toddlers and preschoolers to need 30 - 45 minutes in a dim light setting in order to produce sufficient melatonin (a hormone that signals the internal clock that it’s time to sleep) []. Consider lengthening your pre-bedtime routine if it’s shorter than 30 minutes or it seems like your little one is physically incapable of falling asleep at bedtime. 

Tip #2: Offer extra support before sleep

To help your child feel confident and secure before bedtime, consider offering more comfort and support during the bedtime routine. For example, stay in their bed and cuddle for 5 minutes before you turn off the lights and leave, create a special goodnight handshake, or let them choose a special stuffed animal to keep them company as they drift off to sleep. Many children at this age crave connection and resist going to sleep, so ensuring they feel secure before bed by spending one-on-one time together may help ease separation at night.

Tip #3: Implement an age-appropriate sleep schedule

If your child isn’t tired enough at bedtime, they might be more likely to try to get out of bed. An age-appropriate sleep schedule can help ensure they’re getting enough sleep and tired enough at bedtime. This is particularly important if your child is still napping, as a late or long nap could mean they don’t have enough sleep pressure (tiredness) at their usual sleep time. A might include waking at 6:30 AM, napping at 12:30 PM, and going to bed at 8:30 PM. A may look like waking at 6:30 AM and going to bed at 7 PM (bedtime moves earlier once they’re no longer napping). 

Tip #4: Set expectations and boundaries 

Clear boundaries and consistent expectations often help children thrive. A structured bedtime routine can provide a sense of security, making it easier for them to relax and fall asleep. Establishing bedtime rules can make the process smoother and more enjoyable — for instance, you might agree to read one book together once they’re tucked into bed. 

Tip #5: Consider positive reinforcement

Some parents find it helpful to use positive reinforcement to help their kids stay in bed. This might look like a sticker chart or a bead jar, where your child earns a sticker or a bead for positive behavior (staying in bed at bedtime or throughout the night, in this case). 

Tip #6: Make their bedroom special

Getting your child excited about their room (and bed) may help them feel comfortable and want to stay in bed. Consider changing the decor, adding comfort items like a special pillow or stuffed animal, letting them pick out bedding, or using a non-blue light nightlight. (Choose a light with a warm amber or red hue, as these colors are less likely to disrupt melatonin production and sleep cycles.) Invite your child to get involved so their room feels like their own.

Some kids struggle with staying in bed because they’re afraid of the dark, have nighttime fears, or are experiencing separation anxiety. Nightlights, stuffed animals, and other comfort items might help them get over these fears. Overcoming bedtime anxiety in children can be difficult, but might mean your child actually wants to stay in their room. 

Tip 7: Try a toddler clock 

A uses visual cues, like lights or symbols, to help kids know when they should be in bed and when it’s OK to get up. This can help reinforce the boundaries and expectations you’ve set up with your child. It’s also a simple way to help you as the parent enforce bedtime rules. It can be helpful to toddler clocks with a sticker chart or other positive reinforcement.

Tip 8: Adjust meal or snacks

Sometimes kids struggle to stay in bed because they’re hungry. If your little one is because they’re hungry, a few tweaks can sometimes make a big difference! Try offering a small, nutritious bedtime snack, like yogurt with fruit or cheese and whole wheat crackers, to keep their tummy full until morning. Make sure they’re eating enough during the day with balanced meals and snacks that include , healthy fats, and carbs. 

If dinner feels too early, you can also try moving it a bit later. These small changes can help your child sleep longer and wake up feeling well-rested, although you may need to combine them with routine changes (like keeping the lights off and staying in sleep mode before 6:00 AM) to see significant results.

How to handle night wakings and setbacks

Be consistent with limits and offer reassurance

Consistency is key with any boundary you are trying to set with your preschooler. It can be hard for your child to know what to do or expect if they don’t know the rules and limits. 

A common technique is to quietly and calmly walk your child back to their room when they get out of bed. You can reassure them that they’re safe in their room and that you’ll check on them throughout the night. You can quietly remind them that it’s still nighttime and that they can get out of bed in the morning. This is where the visual cue of a toddler clock can come in handy.

Whatever method you choose to get your child back to bed if they get out, do your best to be as consistent as possible. If you let them stay up with you to eat a snack one night, or invite them to snuggle in bed with you, they may begin to expect that every time they get out of bed.  

Consider sleep training

Sleep training can help your child learn to fall asleep independently (i.e. without your presence) if they haven’t done so or are suddenly having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep without your help. 

isn’t quite the same as sleep training a baby, but it can help with bedtime and nighttime waking if a sleep onset association (e.g. being rocked or held to sleep) contributes to their sleep issues. Consider submitting for a customized sleep plan through if you need help figuring out a sleep training method that’s right for your family.

Set realistic expectations

Though a preschooler seems so much older than a baby or even a toddler, it’s helpful to remember that their brains are still developing. Children 3 - 4 years old typically need help managing their impulses [] and practicing self-control. By setting realistic expectations, you won’t ask them to do more than they are developmentally capable of. For example, expecting them to stay in their room for an hour after they wake up in the morning or to go to sleep before their internal clock signals it's time might be met with frustration for both of you. 

It’s also helpful to anticipate your preschooler will likely face setbacks. They might get a cold, have trouble sleeping while traveling, or have a nightmare and temporarily need extra reassurance at night, and that’s OK. Once things are back to normal, remind them of your nighttime expectations. 

Takeaway

• Many preschoolers have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep for various reasons. Developmental milestones such as exploring independence and nighttime potty training can make it hard to stay in bed. Emotional factors such as feeling scared or struggling with separation anxiety often have an impact too. Other times, they’re not tired enough or want to do “fun” things instead of sleep.  

• If your child is getting out of bed at night, it’s important to consider various safety factors. Consider using baby gates, furniture anchors, and other childproofing measures in their bedroom and throughout your house. 

• You can encourage your child to stay in bed by setting expectations and boundaries, keeping bedtime consistent, using an age-appropriate sleep schedule, implementing positive reinforcement, using a toddler clock, and making their bedroom feel special. Sleep training, setting realistic expectations, and being consistent can also help when you’re trying to keep your preschooler in their bed.