Why your toddler won’t sleep: Causes and solutions for better bedtime

It’s the classic toddler bedtime standoff: Your toddler refuses to sleep, and nothing seems to work. Whether your little one is not sleeping through the night or resisting bedtime altogether, it’s a common frustration that can leave parents feeling exhausted and bewildered. Understanding the reasons behind sleep struggles is a good first step toward helping your toddler get the rest they need. 

We’ve got you covered with typical causes of toddler sleep issues (both at bedtime and overnight) and actionable, research-backed solutions to help your toddler settle down at bedtime (so maybe you can get some rest, too!).

How much sleep does a toddler need? 

Sleep needs can vary from one toddler to the next, but here are some general guidelines to keep in mind

• 1 year old (12+ months): 13.25 hours of sleep per 24-hour period (including naps) 

• 2 years old (24+ months): 12 hours of sleep per 24-hour period (including naps) 

• 3 years old: 11.5 hours of sleep per 24-hour period (including naps, though naps typically at this age)

• 4 years old: 11.5 hours of sleep per 24-hour period (naps are rare)

• 5 years old: 11.5 hours of sleep per 24-hour period (naps are a thing of the past!)

Keep in mind that sleep patterns can vary from child to child, so don’t stress if your toddler’s sleep needs don’t exactly match the guidelines. We also recommend paying attention to your child's overall mood and energy levels when evaluating if they're getting the sleep they need.

Children who consistently get the recommended amount of sleep tend to have better attention, behavior, learning, memory, and emotional regulation []. If you’re concerned that your toddler is sleeping too little or too much, don’t hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician for guidance.

Common reasons toddlers won’t sleep at bedtime

If your toddler fights going to sleep every night, you’re not alone — many parents face this challenge. There are a few common reasons toddlers struggle to settle down at bedtime, and understanding what’s going on can help you tackle the root cause and find solutions that work for your whole family. Here are some of the most common culprits behind toddler sleep struggles:

They need more wind-down time before bed

Toddlers are curious, energetic little beings. It can be tricky for them to transition from playtime to sleep mode! Kiddos at this age often need 30 - 45 minutes (or more!) to wind down from the fun of the day before they’re ready for lights out. A consistent wind-down routine — free from screens and full of calming activities — can help signal that bedtime is near. 

It’s also important to dim the lights during this time. Darkness helps trigger the body’s natural production of melatonin, the hormone that supports sleep. Bright lights, especially from screens, can delay this process and make it harder for your child to settle down [].

Timing is everything

Toddlers need the right balance of wake time and circadian rhythm alignment to fall asleep more easily. If they haven’t been awake long enough before bedtime, they simply may not be tired yet — even if it feels late to you. On the other hand, if bedtime doesn’t align with their internal body clock, falling asleep can still be a struggle, even if they are tired. These two factors work hand in hand. As toddlers grow, their wake windows lengthen (often up to 5–6 hours) so adjusting bedtime accordingly and keeping it consistent day to day can help smooth the path to sleep.

Your presence at bedtime can keep them awake

Even though some toddlers may want you to stay with them at bedtime, your presence can sometimes have the opposite effect and make it harder for them to fall asleep. While they may seek comfort and reassurance, lingering in the room can become distracting, causing them to take longer to settle down.

Developmental milestones

It’s normal for toddlers to experience disrupted sleep during periods of rapid growth. These milestones often involve big changes — whether cognitive, emotional, or physical — like starting to walk, talk, or even grasping the concept of “mine” []. These exciting milestones can make it harder for your toddler to unwind and settle into sleep, often resulting in more nighttime wake-ups too. 

Separation anxiety 

It’s common for toddlers to experience at night because this marks a long period of separation from a little one’s caregivers. They’re still learning that when parents leave, they always return. A child might feel nervous or upset when left alone in their crib or bed, even if they’ve slept just fine before. While frustrating, this is completely normal [3]. 

Night fears 

Around age 2, it’s common for toddlers to develop a fear of the dark. As their imagination grows, they may have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, leading to or shadows at night. These nighttime fears are a normal part of development and often show up as bedtime resistance or middle-of-the-night wake-ups where your toddler seeks comfort. While these fears can be unsettling, they typically pass with time and reassurance.

How to get a toddler to sleep: routine and environmental tips

Creating the right environment and routine for your toddler can make a big difference in getting them to sleep. Here are some practical tips to help set the stage for better sleep:

Provide choices and set limits 

Giving toddlers defined choices at bedtime — like picking between red or blue pajamas — can help them feel more in control and ease the transition to sleep. However, it’s also important to set limits to avoid common stall tactics, such as repeatedly asking for another story or more water. Be consistent and calm when reinforcing the routine, allowing your toddler some independence without letting bedtime turn into a drawn-out process.

Use audiobooks and music to calm busy minds 

If your toddler struggles to wind down, adding or calming music to their bedtime routine can help ease their transition to sleep. Gentle stories or soft instrumental music can quiet a busy mind and create a calming atmosphere, making it easier for your toddler to relax. Consider using a calming playlist or a bedtime audiobook to set the tone for a peaceful night’s rest.

Make their room dark

Darkness signals to your toddler’s brain that it’s time to sleep. Use blackout curtains or shades to block out light and create a calm, restful environment. However, as toddlers get older, some may develop a fear of the dark and may need a little light to feel secure. If your toddler is scared of the dark, consider using a nightlight with a red or amber tone, as this type of light is less disruptive to their natural sleep cycle and can help them feel more comfortable.

Follow a consistent wind-down routine

A predictable bedtime routine helps your toddler know it’s time to wind down for the night. For toddlers, aim for 30 - 45 minutes of wind-down time in dim light, with activities like a bath, storytime, and/or lullabies. Allow about 10 - 15 minutes for your toddler to fall asleep once the lights are out. Sticking to the same steps every night creates a sense of security, making the transition to sleep smoother and more calming for your child.

Use white noise 

White noise can help drown out distractions and create a soothing background sound that promotes relaxation, especially in a busy household. If you have other kids or household noise that might disturb your toddler’s sleep, consider using a white noise machine or a fan. This can help muffle sounds and create a more peaceful sleep environment, making it easier for your toddler to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Avoid screens at least an hour before bed

The blue light from screens can interfere with your toddler’s natural sleep cycle []. Aim to turn off TVs, tablets, or phones at least an hour before bedtime to help your child’s brain prepare for sleep.

Night wakings in toddlers: Why they happen and what to do

We walked you through how to help your child at bedtime, now let’s tackle overnight sleep. It’s common for toddlers to go through periods where they call out for you in the middle of the night, even if they’d previously been sleeping well. While it can be frustrating, it’s important to remember that night wakings are a typical part of your little one’s development []. Up to an estimated 50% of toddlers have night wakings that require parent intervention []. Let’s explore some of the most common causes and what you can do to ensure everyone gets the rest they need. 

Sleep associations

If your toddler is used to falling asleep with a specific sleep association (like feeding, rocking, patting or even having you present in the room) they may have trouble going back to sleep when they wake during the night and those conditions aren’t the same. This often happens because they’ve learned to rely on that association to fall asleep, and they may need help learning to self-soothe and fall asleep independently — at the beginning of the night and overnight too.

If you’re looking to change the way your toddler falls asleep, there are a variety of methods to consider. Some are gradual (like “fading”) and may take a few weeks or longer  to see results, while others often produce faster results (like Ferber method) and may include more tears up front. Sleep training is a personal choice — there’s no one-size-fits-all for every child. 

Late naps and early bedtimes

Naps are essential for most toddlers under 3, but if they’re taken too late in the day, they can interfere with nighttime sleep. If your toddler naps too close to bedtime, they might have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep through the night []. To help bedtime go more smoothly, aim for a consistent bedtime and make sure your toddler has enough awake time between their last nap and bedtime. The ideal timing depends on their age and , but having enough wake time helps build the sleep pressure they need to fall asleep more easily.

Hunger 

Hunger is a common cause of early waking in toddlers. If your toddler wakes up too early, it could be because they didn’t eat enough during the day, or their dinner was too early, leaving them hungry by morning. Ensuring that your toddler eats well-balanced meals and snacks throughout the day can help prevent early morning hunger. Additionally, try to schedule dinner late enough so they feel satisfied into the night. If that’s not possible, you can also opt for a pre-bedtime snack to help curb early waking due to hunger.

Nightmares

can cause night wakings in toddlers, especially as their imaginations begin to develop. Nightmares tend to be more common when toddlers are or experiencing stress []. It’s important to distinguish between nightmares (bad dreams that cause fear upon waking) and (episodes where toddlers may appear scared but are often not fully awake). If your toddler wakes from a nightmare, offer comfort and reassurance, then help them settle back to sleep with a calm, predictable routine.

Toddler sleep regressions and transitions

If your toddler suddenly isn’t sleeping well, you may be wondering if they’re going through a sleep regression. While are  a regular part of your toddler’s growth and development, there’s no mystical dates on the calendar that will dictate when your kiddo’s sleep will suddenly nose-dive. That said, we’ve noticed some common patterns at certain ages that can really throw off sleep for a lot of kids. These phases of bumpy sleep can lead to disruptions in your toddler’s sleep routine, including more frequent wake-ups or resistance at bedtime. 

When do sleep regressions typically occur?

Sleep regressions can happen at any age, including throughout toddlerhood. Here are common toddler sleep regression ages — but keep in mind these are not guarantees! Some kiddos will sail through these ages without sleep hiccups and that’s OK too. 

12 months

At this age, many toddlers are able to stay (3.25 - 4 hours). This change may lead to new sleep challenges if kiddos resist naps and caregivers then mistakenly think their child is ready for just one nap a day. If children transition to one daily nap too early, it often leads to overtiredness, which can make it harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. 

18 months

Around 18 months, toddlers experience significant , including a burst in language skills and increasing independence. 

Around 2 years

Developmental leaps and behavioral changes can contribute to the so-called “.” Toddlers might test boundaries, struggle with emotional regulation, or experience nightmares and fears, all of which can make bedtime more challenging.

What causes sleep regressions?

Rapid cognitive, emotional, and physical changes can be contributors to sleep regressions for toddlers. While each child is unique, here are some common factors:

Developmental milestones

Major milestones, such as learning to walk, talk, or even , can disrupt your toddler’s sleep patterns. As their brains process all these new skills, it can make it harder for them to wind down at bedtime or stay asleep through the night. 

Changes in sleep needs

As toddlers grow, their sleep needs naturally change. They transition from two naps to one (typically between 14 - 18 months) and their bedtime may need adjusting as their schedule shifts. Kids also need less overall sleep as they grow and their wake windows lengthen. Sleep disruptions can pop up as they adapt to new sleep schedules.

Physical discomfort

Teething, illness, or other causes of discomfort can all disrupt your toddler’s sleep. Whether it's sore gums or an , physical issues can cause toddlers to wake up more frequently during the night or resist bedtime altogether.

Travel 

Traveling can significantly affect your toddler’s sleep schedule. Changes in time zones, sleeping in unfamiliar places, or a switch-up in routines can contribute to new sleep challenges both during the trip and upon return home. 

Sleep associations 

Sleep routines that involve caregivers helping their toddler fall asleep — such as rocking, feeding, or staying in the room until they fall asleep — can create sleep associations that make it difficult for toddlers to self-soothe. These habits may be comforting in the short term, but can lead to more frequent night wakings as toddlers rely on external help to fall asleep.

Life changes 

Significant changes in your toddler’s environment or routine, like the arrival of a new sibling, starting daycare or preschool, or even moving to a new home, can lead to sleep regressions. These transitions can cause temporary stress and anxiety, which may interfere with their ability to settle down at bedtime or stay asleep through the night.

Moving out of a crib too early 

Transitioning from a crib to a toddler bed is a major milestone. However, making this change before your toddler is emotionally ready can disrupt their sleep patterns. The newfound freedom can lead to more frequent wake-ups or difficulty staying in bed.

Separation anxiety 

Some toddlers experience separation anxiety, making it harder for them to fall asleep independently. They may resist bedtime and may even wake up multiple times per night, leading to them calling out for you and seeking comfort.

How to handle a toddler who refuses to sleep

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to getting your toddler to sleep, but here are a few strategies that can help ease bedtime battles and support a healthier sleep routine.

Tip #1: Set a consistent bedtime routine

Toddlers thrive on routine, and having a can help them feel more secure. Keep it simple and calming and aim to do the same steps in the same order each night. Steps like a bath, storytime, and  goodnight cuddles can all signal that it's time to wind down. Starting the routine at the same time each night helps regulate your toddler’s circadian rhythm, making it easier for them to fall asleep and feel more at ease.

Tip #2: Try transitional objects

Transitional objects, like a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, can offer your toddler comfort and security at bedtime []. These items help them feel safe in their bed, especially if they’re experiencing separation anxiety or night fears. Let them choose a favorite object to take to bed with them, making bedtime feel a little more familiar and reassuring.

Tip #3: Set clear sleep boundaries

Toddlers need to understand what’s expected of them, especially around bedtime. Set clear and consistent boundaries, like not getting up from bed after lights out. If your toddler resists, calmly but firmly guide them back to bed without escalating the situation. You can use positive reinforcement (like praising them for staying in bed) and visual cues (such as a ) to help them understand when it’s time to sleep. Consistency is key to helping your toddler feel secure in their routine.

Tip #4: Use comforting but firm reassurance

It’s natural for toddlers to resist sleep, but it’s important to be firm yet gentle in your approach. If they cry or become upset, offer comfort with your voice or a quick hug, but try to avoid prolonging the process. Over time, with consistent effort, your toddler can learn to self-soothe and gain confidence in their ability to fall asleep independently if desired. However, it’s important to note that not all families may want to focus on self-soothing, and that’s perfectly fine. The goal is to find a method that works for your family and provides comfort for your toddler.

Tip #5 Create a calm sleep environment

Make sure your toddler’s sleep environment promotes rest. Dim the lights, turn off screens, and consider using soft, calming sounds like white noise to help cue it’s time to sleep. A soothing sleep space helps your toddler settle down and get the restful sleep they need.

What to avoid when your toddler won’t sleep 

Sometimes, what we do at bedtime can accidentally make the situation worse. We’re all learning! Here’s a list of common mistakes to avoid when trying to get your toddler to sleep:

• Late snacks with caffeine: While a light snack before bed can be helpful, snacks with caffeine (like chocolate), can have the opposite effect and make it harder for your toddler to wind down. 

• Inconsistent bedtimes: Inconsistent bedtimes can disrupt your toddler’s circadian rhythm, making it physically harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. Try to keep naps and bedtime at the same time every night (when possible) to support a healthy sleep routine.

• Bedtime battles: A power struggle at bedtime can create negative associations with sleep. Stay calm and be firm with your boundaries. A peaceful routine helps set the tone for a restful night.

• Overstimulation before bed: Active play and screen time can make it harder for your toddler to calm down and prepare for sleep. Consider allowing your toddler some heavy work — like pushing or pulling toys — to release excess energy earlier in the evening, and then avoid screens at least an hour before bedtime to help them relax for their calm bedtime routine.

• Ignoring nighttime fears: If your toddler wakes up afraid or anxious, it’s important to offer comfort. Ignoring their fears may lead to more distress, making it harder for them to fall back asleep.

Sleep tips for specific ages (1, 2, and 3 year olds) 

As toddlers grow, their sleep needs change. Here are some key tips for each age group:

1 year olds (12+ months) 

At 12 months, we recommend aiming for at least 13.25 hours of total sleep per 24-hour period. That typically breaks down to 11 - 12 hours at night and 2 - 3 hours of daytime sleep over 2 naps. Stick to a consistent nap and bedtime routine as much as possible to help your toddler feel secure and wind down easily.

2 year olds (24+ months) 

When kids reach , their sleep needs may drop slightly to 12 hours of total sleep per 24-hour period, breaking down to around 10 - 12 hours of nighttime sleep and 1.5 - 2 hours of daytime sleep during one nap. Limit screen time and encourage calm, quiet play or push and pull activities an hour before their bedtime routine to help your toddler wind down before sleep. 

3 year olds (36+ months)

We recommend aiming for around 11.5 hours of total sleep per day at . Since some children’s sleep needs are higher or lower than average, it’s important for caregivers to focus on other indicators (such as your child’s mood and energy levels) to determine if your child is getting enough sleep. At this age, address any nighttime fears they may have, and consider adjusting their bedtime if they’re resisting sleep or waking up too early.

When to talk to a pediatrician

While most toddlers go through phases of sleep disruptions, there are times when seeking professional help can make a difference []. If you’re concerned about your toddler’s sleep, consider talking to a pediatrician if you notice any of the following:

• Sleep apnea or breathing issues: If you notice your toddler snores loudly, has difficulty breathing while asleep, or wakes up gasping for air.

• Excessive daytime sleepiness: If your toddler is frequently tired, cranky, or struggling to stay awake during the day, despite getting the recommended amount of sleep for their age.

• Red flags: You know your child best! Trust your intuition and if you notice any red flags when it comes to your toddler’s sleep, it’s usually best to err on the side of caution and reach out to their healthcare provider. 

Takeaway

• A consistent routine is crucial: Establishing a calming bedtime routine and sleep-friendly environment can make a difference in helping your toddler sleep soundly.

• Night wakings are normal: It’s common for toddlers to wake up during the night due to sleep associations (like needing help falling asleep) and disruptions in their sleep schedule. Additionally, night fears and developmental changes can contribute to these nighttime wake-ups. Most of these phases pass with time and consistency. Most of these phases pass with time and consistency.

• Patience and flexibility: Every child’s sleep journey is different. Be patient and flexible as you try different strategies, and remember that a few setbacks are normal along the way.