Is my child a picky eater?

Feeding young children is TOUGH! Picky eating is a common challenge starting in toddlerhood and can last into the school years. However, it is a normal part of development as your little one learns to exert their independence. Keep reading to learn more about what picky eating habits are actually “normal” and how to handle them. 

IN THIS ARTICLE: 

What is considered a picky eater?

Most kids go through a picky eating stage (or a few!) starting around age 2. The good news? This is a completely normal part of development and signals your toddler is learning how to use their voice and assert their own opinion. Typically, picky eating behaviors start to fade around age 4 or 5, though for some, the phase may last into elementary school []. 

A handful of “normal” picky eating habits are listed below: 

• Eating a lot at one meal and not much during the next 

• Having a large appetite for a day or couple of days then not eating much the next day or few days 

• Hesitation to try new foods 

• Preferring carbohydrate foods or foods that always taste the same (i.e. crackers, granola bars, etc.)

• Needing to be exposed to a food multiple times before trying it

• Touching or licking a food but not eating it 

• Refusing to eat a food they previously enjoyed

• Preferring to eat the same one or two foods for days or even weeks

So how do you know when picky eating escalates to something more? Well, extreme picky eating, as it is sometimes called, doesn’t have an exact definition, but it usually starts with the behaviors above and turns into a pattern that interferes with daily life. Family mealtimes may become difficult or unpleasant, it may become hard to eat outside of the home or the child’s growth may be impacted. 

Are my expectations mismanaged? 

Since there's no exact definition of picky eating, it can be difficult for parents to tell if their toddler’s eating habits are picky or if they just have mismanaged expectations. Oftentimes, parents forget that children are learning to eat just as they are learning all sorts of new skills. 

Signs your expectations may be off include: 

Expecting your child to eat or like every food you serve them.

Just like adults, children have taste preferences. It’s okay if they don’t like a food or do not want to eat a certain food. This may come up during as they try new foods.

Expecting children to eat the same amount at every meal or snack.

Kids’ appetites vary from day to day and can be impacted by things such as physical activity, mood, or illness. 

Expecting children to eat vegetables and other “healthy” foods when you don’t do so yourself.

Modeling eating habits, including enjoying vegetables yourself, increase the likelihood that children will eat more healthfully []. Children love to do what their parents do, but not always what they say!

How to help your child overcome picky eating

Overcoming picky eating requires time and patience. When both parents and children follow their “jobs” during mealtime (parents provide, child decides) [] picky eating naturally runs its course. Do your best to maintain a positive mealtime environment and use the tips below to make picky eating more bearable. 

• Follow feeding jobs

• Stick to a feeding schedule

• Serve food in small quantities

• Always serve one food your child is comfortable with 

• Involve kids in meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking as you can 

• Expose kids to new foods in other ways (use books, toys, etc.) 

• Avoid forcing your child to eat 

• Eat together 

• Offer choices where appropriate 

• Keep offering food even if your child doesn’t eat them

• Avoid becoming a short-order cook

Meal ideas for a picky eater

Every child is different when it comes to eating habits and preferences, so there aren’t one or two “go-to” meals for picky eaters. My best tip is to always include one food you know your child generally accepts or likes. This allows them to feel more comfortable at mealtime and once they start eating they are more likely to try other foods on the plate. 

The suggestions below are examples of balanced meals that include foods kids often like. However, it doesn’t mean your child will like (or has to like) them. These base meals can be changed slightly to add variety. For example, change out the type of bread used, which fruit you offer, etc. 

Breakfast ideas for a picky eater

• Toast with nut or sunflower butter and fruit of your child’s choice

• Scrambled eggs and cheese and fruit of your child’s choice

Lunch ideas for a picky eater

• Chicken nuggets with carrots sticks and ranch, and fruit of your child’s choice

• Yogurt parfait - let your child add toppings themselves

  • Toppings may include chopped nuts, fruit, chocolate chips, shredded coconut, pepitas, granola, etc.

Dinner ideas for a picky eater

• Pasta and meatballs -- serve separately to improve the likelihood of eating

• Build your own taco bar - let your child choose their own toppings 

When should I be concerned about my child’s picky eating?

For many children, picky eating runs its course and they grow out of it by their school years. However, for some, it can persist and begin to impact their quality of life or growth. If mealtime becomes extremely upsetting to your child or they have difficulty eating outside of the home, it’s best to contact your pediatrician right away. They can assess their growth pattern and help you figure out the next steps. A feeding evaluation may be used to determine if there is an underlying issue contributing to picky eating. This may include a sensory issue or lack of muscle strength or coordination to chew properly.