Sleep training for 3 and 4 month olds: How to, methods, and tips

If your baby isn’t sleeping well, you may be wondering whether it’s appropriate to sleep train at this age — with all that conflicting information out there, it can be hard to figure out what to do! 

We understand that parenting decisions, especially those related to your baby's sleep, require extra thought and consideration. If you're feeling unsure, we're here to help you navigate this maze of sleep advice and give you all the details you need to make the best sleep-related decision for your baby. But don't fret: you have the final say on what's best for your little one. 

IN THIS ARTICLE:

How we define sleep training

We define as teaching a baby to self-soothe and fall asleep independently, without relying on help (e.g. being rocked, fed, or held). There are a variety of sleep training methods, and we're happy to cover the most popular approaches later in the article.

Can you sleep train 3 and 4 month olds? 

At 3 and 4 months, sleep training results often vary. If you choose to sleep train your little one at this age, think of it as an opportunity for them to practice (but not fully master) falling asleep on their own.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) [] suggests placing babies into their sleep space when they are still drowsy, but not already asleep at 4 months of age. Not only can this benefit your little one by teaching them how to self-soothe, but it can also mean more restful nights for the whole family. Fewer night wakings [] can lead to more sleep-filled evenings for everyone involved!

This can be easier said than done, however, if your baby is accustomed (as many are!) to falling asleep with help. Some may have already formed sleep routines and will respond really well to sleep training techniques, while others may still need a bit more time before they’re able to make significant improvements. 

While sleep training at this age can help set a foundation for healthy sleep habits, it won’t act as a magic wand. It's not uncommon for progress to be unsteady. Plus, even if they learn to self-soothe at bedtime, it's likely that they will still need some help drifting off throughout the night after waking.

How many nights does it take to sleep train 3 and 4 month olds?

Ah, the ever-changing landscape of baby sleep! It's like trying to navigate a rollercoaster ride with twists, turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Expect ups and downs at this age, rather than linear progress especially because are still pretty unpredictable. Many babies won't be able to fully learn the skill of self-soothing throughout the night until they reach six months old. However, 3 and 4 month olds can often make progress on independent sleeping skills at bedtime which will later translate to better sleep throughout the night.  

It may take some time for your baby to adopt new habits at bedtime — anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks, depending on the method you choose and your baby's temperament. 

Sleep training methods for 3 and 4 month olds

Gentle methods

(also referred to as “gentle”) allow you to guide your baby toward developing independent sleeping skills. These techniques, such as the "chair method," "fading," and "pick up put down," involve actively comforting your baby as they learn to drift off in a new way. These strategies are appropriate to use at bedtime and during the night, as long as their feeding needs are being met.

Gentle methods are particularly suited for parents who prioritize a tear-minimizing approach and are open to investing extra time in the process. For example, if your little one typically falls asleep while being fed, you can start by shifting to rocking them to sleep instead, then progressively reduce the motion until you place them in the crib while they're still awake. Throughout this journey, you can remain nearby to offer support, gradually lessening your touch and presence.

Gradual extinction

In the realm of sleep training, graduated extinction strategies, such as the , begin by placing your baby in their sleep space while they're still awake. After saying goodnight, you intermittently return for brief check-ins, starting as short as 3 minutes on the first night and gradually extending the intervals. Alternatively, some parents may opt for a consistent interval, like 10 to 15 minutes. 

This approach appeals to those seeking faster results and who are comfortable with allowing their baby to cry for specific periods. It's sometimes viewed as a variation of "cry-it-out" (CIO), yet distinct in that parents typically return at regular intervals to offer soothing comfort before departing once more. 

Consistency is important during sleep training but not always possible at 3 and 4 months old. If you decide to use this method for your young baby, keep in mind that it’s normal for babies this age to have difficulty falling asleep on their own consistently. You can always take a break if your baby is struggling on a particular night and opt to use a gradual sleep training method instead (or try again the next night). 

Cry-it-out

, or "total extinction," is a sleep training method that involves allowing your baby to fall asleep on their own, without attempting to soothe them. Before using this technique, ensure that your baby is well-fed, dry, and not in any physical discomfort, and that they are mature enough to fall asleep without assistance. 

Put the baby in their crib after the bedtime routine, while still awake, then leave the room. To maintain peace of mind, keep a video monitor in the room and conduct safety checks every hour. Some babies fall asleep within 10 minutes, while others may cry for longer.

We typically do not recommend this method at this age, as many babies will struggle to consistently fall asleep on their own and may need help from parents. That means that CIO may result in a lot of crying, but not a sleeping baby. 

Sleep training tips for 3 and 4 month olds

Here are some tips for sleep training 3 and 4 month old babies:

• Expect ups and downs

• Take breaks as needed

• Pause before intervening

Find more details below:

Tip #1: Expect ups and downs

At this age, sleep training can be your trusty sidekick on the journey to establishing healthy sleep habits. But since not all babies this age are developmentally ready to fall asleep on their own consistently, it isn’t a cure-all or quick fix. Expect to make progress over the long term, rather than immediately solve sleep issues.

Tip #2: Take breaks as needed

Your baby may struggle to fall asleep on their own on some nights, but not others. This is common and expected with young babies learning to fall asleep in a new way. If your baby is having a tough time on a particular night, you can take a 20 - 30 minute break and try again. You can also decide to help your baby fall asleep and try again the next night.

Tip #3: Pause before intervening

It’s common for babies to briefly call out in between sleep cycles. While it’s tempting to jump up and help your baby back to sleep during the night, you might find it helpful to wait a few minutes before responding. Often you’ll find that your baby will settle back to sleep on their own without your help. 

Can you sleep train 3 and 4 month olds for naps?

It’s often easier to make progress at bedtime, but if night sleep is already fairly consistent, feel free to start setting the foundation for better naps. Here’s how:

1. Focus on 1 or 2 naps in the crib per day (the first nap is usually the easiest to sleep train). 

2. Use a shortened version of your bedtime routine as a pre-nap routine to cue that it’s time to transition to sleep.

3. Work on the nap for 30 minutes; if your little one hasn’t fallen asleep, leave the room and take a 30-minute break. 

4. Try again: Do the last couple of steps of the nap routine again and give them another opportunity to fall asleep on their own.

5. If your baby still won't nap after the second try, go ahead and help them to sleep.

6. Move bedtime earlier if naps are shorter or skipped.

Can you sleep train during the 4 month sleep regression? 

Yes, you can! The term "" or "" is often used to describe a period of disrupted sleep patterns that some infants experience around the age of four months. It is not a clinical term but rather a colloquial phrase used by parents to refer to changes in their baby's sleep habits during this developmental stage.

Between 3 and 4 months of age, infants undergo significant neurological and physiological changes. They begin to experience more mature sleep cycles, which include periods of lighter and deeper sleep similar to adults. As a result, their sleep patterns may become less predictable, and they may wake up more frequently during the night.

It's important to note that not all babies go through a 4 month sleep regression, and the severity and duration of sleep disruptions can vary. Some babies may experience minor changes in sleep patterns, while others may have more significant difficulties. Babies that get help falling asleep at bedtime (i.e. they’re rocked or fed to sleep) are more likely to wake up fully in between sleep cycles and call out for help in the night in order to return to sleep.   

If you find yourself dealing with sleep disruptions during this time, it can be helpful to transition away from that help falling asleep at bedtime. Although we wouldn’t expect sleep to be “perfect” at this age, sleep is likely to improve alongside independent sleeping skills. 

How to sleep train 3 and 4 month old twins?

You can make sleep training multiples easier with these tips:

• Coordinate sleep schedules: Although twins may have their own individual sleep needs and patterns, try to coordinate their sleep schedules as much as possible. This can help you manage your own sleep and ensure that both babies are getting adequate rest. If one baby wakes up for a feeding or diaper change, you can wake the other baby briefly to sync their schedules. This way, you won't end up with one baby awake while the other is sleeping, causing disruption to everyone's sleep.

• Limit overtiredness: If your baby is overtired, they’re more likely to have a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep. Planning bedtime according to wake windows and sleepy cues can help cut down on tears related to a mistimed bedtime. Use our to help ensure your babies get to bed at an ideal time.

• Separate babies at bedtime: Whether you’re parenting solo at bedtime, or have someone to help, you might find that things go smoother by separating the babies at bedtime. This can help your little ones work on their new independent sleeping skills without disturbing their sibling.

What to do if sleep training for 3 and 4 month olds not working

If sleep training isn’t going as expected for 3 and 4 month olds, here are some suggestions:

• Aim for your baby to be sleepy but still awake when placed in their crib. If they’re usually put down into a state where they are almost asleep, it can be hard to make progress.

• If your young baby is struggling every night to fall asleep on their own, and it’s causing stress, it’s okay to take a break! Try again in a week or two, when they’re a little older.

• Baby sleep can be really tricky! If you’d like some expert advice, consider getting a customized plan for your individual needs through .

Takeaway: Sleep training 3 and 4 month olds

• Sleep training can set a foundation for healthy sleep by helping your baby learn how to soothe themselves, which can lead to more peaceful nights for the entire family.

• While it may be a bit challenging if your baby is used to falling asleep with some assistance, every baby is different at this age. Some may respond really well to sleep training techniques, while others might need a little more time to make significant progress. 

• Remember, sleep training isn't a magic fix, and progress may not always be smooth. But think of it as an opportunity for your baby to practice the skill of falling asleep independently (even if they don't quite master it just yet). And don't worry if they still need some support during nighttime wakings – that's perfectly normal too! Just remember, the path to success is as unique as your baby's adorable little quirks.

• If you're curious about what happens during this age, peek into the .

If you're curious about what lies ahead, glimpse into the future to see what you might experience when it comes to . Also look back on here.