Why is my toddler taking so long to fall asleep? 7 common causes and solutions
Updated Oct 18, 2024
Just when you think you've figured out your little one's sleep routine, it changes (hello, ). And this constant guessing game doesn't end after your baby's first year. Instead, toddler sleep can feel just as mysterious — and frustrating — if your child starts battling bedtime.
Whether your toddler takes longer than 30 minutes to fall asleep or altogether, fighting sleep is a common struggle among parents. Research shows that trouble with nighttime settling increases during early childhood [], and there are several potential reasons why. Sometimes understanding the reason behind the can help end the prolonged bedtimes and ensure your kiddo gets the sleep they need.
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Understanding toddler sleep patterns
Just like babies, it’s normal for toddler sleep patterns to change as they grow. Around 14 - 18 months, toddlers typically go through a and drop from two naps to one afternoon nap. As your toddler gets closer to 2 years old, it's common for bedtime to get later because they can comfortably stay awake longer. Then, they'll typically drop that last nap between 3 and 5 years old. It’s especially normal for bedtime struggles to accompany these transition periods.
As time goes on, toddlers’ sleep needs evolve too. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 1 - 2 year olds need 11 - 14 hours of total sleep [] over a 24-hour period. As a guideline, aiming for a minimum of 10 hours of nighttime sleep and 1.5 - 2.5 hours of daytime sleep at 2 years old. However, every child's sleep needs are different, and variation in their pattern is normal. We recommend paying attention to your little one’s overall mood and energy levels when determining if they’re getting enough sleep.
Factors contributing to prolonged bedtime
If your child is struggling to fall asleep at night, one (or more!) of the following factors may be at play:
Scheduling factors
As toddlers develop, their sleep needs change and they’ll outgrow their current sleep schedule. Toddlers eventually need a sleep schedule that accounts for more awake time before naps and bedtime. Many little ones transition from between 14 - 18 months old. Kiddos also start needing extra time to wind down at the end of the day, which can make it harder for them to fall asleep at a desired bedtime.
This schedule shift can initially be frustrating for parents and children. In fact, it’s common for mismatched bedtimes and children’s natural sleep rhythms to contribute to bedtime struggles. Adjusting your expectations about how long it should take toddlers to wind down before bedtime versus how long it actually takes them to fall asleep once the lights are turned off may help while your little one settles into their new routine. By 24 months many toddlers need about 6 hours of awake time before bed to be sufficiently tired to fall asleep. This can mean a bedtime around 8:30 PM for a child who typically wakes from their nap around 2:30 PM.
Developmental factors
Mastering new skills during the day can impact how and when your toddler falls asleep at night. From developmental milestones like to learning how to assert their independence (and opinions!), these exciting new abilities often make it harder for toddlers to unwind. Developmental milestones around 2 may lead to temporary sleep setbacks, often referred to as a ”.
Environmental factors
Toddlers are increasingly more aware of their surroundings and curious about what's happening around them. They don't want to miss out on the world just for sleep (even if they seriously need it!) and become much more sensitive to external stimuli. Aim for a that is cool, dark, and quiet. Nearby distractions, like toys or books, can make it more difficult for curious kiddos to drift off.
Bedtime routines can also help or interfere with a toddler's ability to fall asleep. You want to aim for something calming and consistent to signal that it's time to wind down. Establishing a predictable nightly ritual incorporating quiet activities, like reading a book or singing a lullaby, helps make the transition from play to rest easier.
When young children are put to bed at a time that doesn't align with their natural sleep rhythms, they may not feel tired and will resist bedtime (e.g., asking for water, calling out, refusing to go to bed, or having tantrums). Note that it’s common for toddlers to take 45 minutes or more to wind down at night at this age (from the beginning of the bedtime routine to the time they fall asleep). Lengthening the bedtime routine and dimming the lights at least 30 minutes before lights out can help encourage melatonin production, signaling to the brain that it’s time for sleep and easing the bedtime process.
Emotional factors
How your child feels — physically and emotionally — impacts how easily your toddler settles down. Just like or can make it harder for toddlers to fall asleep, so can emotional challenges like fear and overstimulation before bed.
At this age, it's common for toddlers to go through another wave of and suddenly want their parents to stay with them at bedtime until they fall asleep. This clinginess (especially at bedtime) is a normal part of development as little ones learn that when their parents leave, they always return.
Tips for improving bedtime routine
Bedtime resistance can be frustrating and exhausting for parents, but these strategies may help your toddler fall asleep faster:
Tip #1: Adjust their schedule
If your child regularly resists sleep, it may be time to reevaluate their schedule. Toddlers often resist sleep when bedtime is mistimed. This is especially true when bedtime is too early, and they don’t have enough sleep pressure [] built up to fall asleep. Additionally, melatonin production may not have begun yet, making it even harder for them to feel naturally sleepy, as melatonin signals to the brain that it’s time for rest.
As your toddler gets older, there are two main shifts in their sleep schedule: they eventually drop down to one nap a day, and their wake windows lengthen, especially the last one before bedtime. From to, most children go from needing around 4 hours to as much as 6 hours of awake time before bedtime to be tired enough to sleep.
But remember, it's a balancing act to find that optimal bedtime. Little ones have a hard time falling asleep when they're under-tired and overtired, so aim to be responsive to their cues. If your toddler has a bunch of energy or a, that may be a sign that they are overtired — and not that bedtime should be even later.
Tip #2: Maintain a consistent bedtime routine
Consistency and calmness are key to setting your little one up for success at bedtime. A predictable helps your little one wind down and understand that sleep comes next.
When establishing your nightly ritual, remember that it doesn't have to be long or complicated. Soothing activities, like bath time, cuddles, and reading a book, help your toddler transition from play to rest and prime their body for sleep. Try incorporating these routine steps in dim lighting in your toddler's room, as multiple scene changes may distract them. Often the most important part is that you do these same steps consistently each night and in the same order.
Tip #3: Allow more time to wind down
Just as consistency is key in your kiddo's bedtime routine, it's also ideal to have enough time to unwind before bed. At this age, toddlers typically need around 30 - 45 minutes to wind down before lights out, which can be done during their nightly ritual. The quiet and calming activities you do together during their bedtime routine signal to their body that it's time for bed. Giving your little one sufficient time to adjust helps for a smoother transition between play and falling asleep.
Tip #4: Offer limited choices
To cut down on stalling, try giving your toddler finite choices during their bedtime routine. This helps little ones feel more in control and can curb time-consuming protesting. Offering limited choices (between which pair of pajamas they wear or which book they read tonight, for example) allows them to assert independence in a controlled fashion. It also helps to keep the tone more calming instead of combative, which helps kiddos unwind and ultimately fall asleep more easily.
Tip #5: Introduce a comfort object if you haven’t already
Consider giving your child a comfort object (also called a "" or "lovey"), which can help them feel secure, especially if they are experiencing and taking a long time to fall asleep because of it. Tucking in the lovey, too, can also become a step in your child's bedtime routine.
Tip # 6: Be intentional with your exit
A parent staying in their child’s bedroom after the bedtime routine can also really impact how long it takes them to fall asleep. While a parent's presence at bedtime can feel comforting, it can also unintentionally become a distraction that makes it harder for toddlers to settle down. To ease the transition, let your toddler know you'll be leaving after the bedtime routine. Keep your exit calm and consistent, offering reassurance that you're nearby if needed. Gradually reducing your presence encourages your child to develop self-soothing skills and fall asleep more independently if desired.
If you’d like more help when it comes to toddler sleep, consider requesting a Sleep Plan through . Our sleep experts can provide you with a step-by-step customized plan that accounts for your child’s age and your parenting preferences.
Tip #7: Limit screen exposure before bed when possible
Evening screen time and light exposure can negatively affect your little one's sleep. Research [] shows that children are highly sensitive to light exposure in the hour before bedtime, and bright light before bed has a "robust" effect on suppressing (a hormone that tells the body it’s time to sleep). When possible, avoid screen time 1 - 2 hours before bedtime and keep lights dim as your child unwinds. However, we should mention that for , the benefits of some screen time before bed may outweigh the disadvantages.
Takeaway
Sleep resistance is a common challenge for many toddlers — and their parents. Taking longer than 30 minutes to wind down is a normal (albeit frustrating!) part of development, and trouble with nighttime settling increases during early childhood.
Toddlers typically transition from two naps to one between 14 - 18 months of age and need longer wake windows before bed. Mismatched bedtimes and a child’s natural sleep rhythms often play a significant role in causing bedtime difficulties.
Scheduling, developmental, environmental, and emotional factors can all impact your toddler's sleep patterns.
Toddler taking long time to fall asleep FAQ
Q: Why does my toddler resist going to bed?
A:
It's common for toddlers to resist going to bed for multiple reasons. If bedtime is mistimed and your kiddo is under or overtired, it's usually harder for them to fall asleep. Toddlers can also experience big feelings during bedtime, including separation anxiety and interest in testing limits.
Q: How much sleep does my toddler need?
A:
The exact amount of sleep varies by age and is unique to each child. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 1 - 2 year olds need 11 - 14 hours of total sleep per day [2] to promote optimal health. As a general guideline, we recommend aiming for at least 10 hours of nighttime sleep and 1.5 - 2.5 hours of daytime sleep for 2 year olds. But remember, every child's sleep needs are different and variation is normal.
Q: Is it normal for toddlers to wake up during the night?
A:
All children (and adults) wake briefly at night. Up to an estimated 50% of toddlers have night wakings that require parent intervention [5]. Physical causes like hunger, teething pain, or illnesses like colds, allergies, or ear infections can all impact a toddler's sleep. Plus, night sleep associations, changing nap schedules, and fears about separation or nightmares are also common at this age.
Q: How can I establish a bedtime routine for my toddler?
A:
There’s no “right” way to establish a bedtime routine for a toddler. The important thing is following the same steps (like brush teeth, change into PJs, read and snuggle) in the same order every night to help your little one unwind and learn to connect the pre-sleep activities with the act of falling asleep.
Q: Is it OK to use white noise or nightlights in my toddler's room?
A:
Yes, we find white noise is often a helpful sleep tool for babies and toddlers. White noise can muffle household noises and create a soothing environment. It can also cue that it’s time to sleep which can help little ones settle, and promote longer sleep sessions. Night lights can also be a tool to help toddlers at night as their imaginations develop and normal childhood fears set in. However, since blue light can suppress melatonin, consider using a night light with low or no blue light.
Q: What can I do if my toddler wakes up too early in the morning?
A:
If your toddler starts waking early, check their schedule. A bedtime that is too early or too late can both contribute to early rising. Hunger, light exposure and too much day sleep are also common contributing factors.
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Note: The content on this site is for informational purposes only and should not replace medical advice from your doctor, pediatrician, or medical professional. If you have questions or concerns, you should contact a medical professional.
